Perhaps this is a self centered posting, but I truly recommened the journey within….especially after adverse life events. This is how we grow, heal, and even change the world. By knowing ourselves and addressing our weaknesses. Lack of self awareness is catastrophic in relationships and society in general. And I agonizingly yearn for just a little understanding. 5w4 INFJs are a lot left of normal. Comment if you can relate. I’m looking for you!
Go for it! Look inside yourself!! And I hope you like me.
Why? Why is my brain a battlefield? I found the answer as I began trying to rebuild my broken ego in an imaginary construct that doesn’t actually exist. Brilliant, yes? Myers Briggs type indicator and enneagram of personality. Myers Briggs is the redheaded step child of Carl Jung and the enneagram is a system derived from ancient esoteric traditions.
Here it is
INFJ – introverted intuitive feeling judger
I’m wired to be a forward thinking recluse that focuses on creating harmonious social connections by exerting control via planning, organization, and feeling based decision-making. I’m also a wee complex. I don’t think outside the box. I think ABOUT the box. Perspective shifter and social ninja. 😉 Like Ghandi, a prominent Christian figure I won’t name, and Hilter. It’s true. Same hardware. Adam Sandler, too. It’s also the rarest type. I’d really rather not be a bearded lady but it is what it is. It has it’s upsides.
5w4 – enneagram 5 is my main type, the investigator. I also have components of enneagram type 4, the individualist. They call the lesser influence on your personality a wing. Mash em together and you’ve got yourself a 5 with a 4 wing, the iconoclast and in my case…an awkward and confused iconoclast. 5w4 is also an extreme rarity. Yeah, I REALLY dont belong on this planet.
Sorry, I couldn’t find a motivational poster for 5w4.
INFJ AND a 5w4? A truly bizarre mix AKA my battlefield. The only famous person that kinda fits is that redhead from Zero Dark Thirty. My psychiatric evaluator mentioned the uncanny resemblance…..except I have an expansive silly injection once you’re in my bubble. Btw, Osama Bin Laden? INFJ gone awry.
Yep, there’s my bitchy resting face.
So, what does all this mean?
Well, my main software (enneagram 5), is located squarely in the thinking center. It investigates, analyzes, cherishes logic above all else. Knowledge is king. I research…for fun. I’ve read libraries. It is my inner CIA analyst. My ability to detach and apply objectivity is all 5. It also casts a dirty glance on feeling. Ewww, feeeeeeelings. Get them outta my sight. It begrudgingly runs with my feeling based decisions. Added to this paradox is my 4 wing and its center is, you got it, feeling. It houses my ability to switch to subjectivity from objectivity. 4 characteristics include emotional honesty, vulnerability, authenticity, self-awareness, and creativity. It’s my elegance. My love of literature, art, and music. My spirituality and empathy. My magic. It also enjoys ramping up and intensifying emotions for the hell of it….Molehill. BAM. Mountain. It digs deep and doesn’t recognize your howling screams as displeasure.
I joke. Kudos, Britney, on rising from the ashes or shall I say stubble. I, too, have sported a metaphorical pink wig.
Meanwhile, the 5 in me is disgusted with the whole display and demands that I cease at once and go spend some time in the wilderness until I’ve learned a thing or two. Famous 5w4’s? Kurt Cobain and Albert Einstein. Lennon, too.
I’ve come to the conclusion that Myers Briggs and the enneagram are comparable to astrology except for the fact that they are self selecting. Not all that scientific, but who cares? Researching cognitive functions, ego fixations, and Jungian psychology has helped me to make sense of my journey. I used this knowledge to help piece my ego back together after the last of the horses tucked tail. At least they didn’t keep beating me as I often do to them.
I favor the enneagram since it’s a more spiritual system and it’s geared towards overcoming ego fixations. My holy ideas are omniscience, transparency and unity (unbrokenness – screw all the king’s horses, I’ll do it myself). My virtues are detachment and equanimity. My vices are avarice (hoarding time, space, and especially knowledge ie feigning naivety/intellectual prude) and melancholy.
So, if you call me and I have been holed up in my house for 3 weeks straight listening to Death Cab for Cutie while wearing a tin foil loin cloth and memorizing pi to the 549th digit….Help me. Or at least complement my loin coverings.
My mind types everyone I meet almost immediately. I just do it automatically. Everyone’s brain stereotypes. If it didn’t, fuchsia fizz would leak out of your ears from information overload. Typology is just one of the 111 billion different systems at work in my head when forming first impressions. It’s kinda ridiculous and an off switch would be dreamy. It’s just a starting box. Don’t get offended. I’ll tear the box up if you let me borrow your box cutter and send away all witnesses. Sticking with stereotypes…yeah, that’s bad.
Seriously. I do recommend checking out these personality systems. There are free tests all over the internet. You just might discover something new about yourself. I did. I’M the FREAK. But I definitely love freaks.
Check out these links for the tests.
Jungian/Myers Briggs test
Enneagram of personality test
And since those sweet souls over at INTP Central must’ve deleted their amusing thread, “F’ing INFJs….How do they work?”, here’s another cute synopsis. Be afraid if you tread too far into and step on our core values. I’ve put squeakers in mine. Listen closely.
The Many Faces of the INFJ
Soooo…For better or worse, I’ve obviously 5’ed out on Myers-Briggs, enneagram, Jungian psychology, astrology, and the mating habits of Red-lipped Batfish. Ask me anything. What? I’m an enneagram 5. Pointless research is my forte. I KNOW.
P.S. I totally forgot to mention my enneagram 9 fixation! I’ll save that for later. The theoretical tritype 549(in terms of enneagram) is triple withdrawn especially when ego protection is in play. An investigator, individualist/identity seeker AND a peacekeeper. Those are MY apples. Catch me if you can 😉 Ok, I’ll stop hiding.